a mistake

Adoption is a beautiful thing.

Think about it.

For most of us, it's probably just another social norm... something that just happens and doesn't really affect our lives one way or the other. But for some, it's how they've survived.

Sometimes, some people are cursed with the dreaded fate [sarcasm] of getting pregnant at a time in their life when they're completely unprepared to raise a child. I've never experienced that feeling. I can only imagine what it's like: one day you're going through life and everything is completely normal; the next, you realize you have a person... living inside of you.

There must be this overwhelming intense switch that goes off in a woman's mind when she realizes there is a human that is entirely dependent on her body to survive. Most of us are hardly responsible enough to take care of ourselves.

But all of a sudden, you're not just you anymore.

All of a sudden, you are bound physically to another person you don't even know yet.

If you do nothing at all, there is a good chance a baby will come out of you in less than a year and you'll be a mom. For some, this is a miracle. And for others, it's a heart-dropping reality that makes them wish they could somehow switch back the clocks of time.

On the completely opposite end of the spectrum, there are people who have been waiting in patient anticipation for this same moment almost their entire lives and never get to experience it. Some people, despite all their preparation and emotional investment, will one day learn that they'll never have that feeling.
& now we have two opposites that are equally horrible, depending on context: being pregnant, and knowing you'll never be pregnant.

I've always been the "make lemonade out of lemons" person. I feel like I've always at least believed in the power and miracle to turn ugly into beautiful... ashes into diamonds. I'm not saying that it always will be but I believe in that potential and searching for it.

I believe in an overarching redemptive quality to life - in the small, day-to-day things and the massive, this-is-gunna-change-everything things.

I think adoption is beautiful because out of this "mistake" can come a new hope.

There is new hope for the parents who receive a gift that will unfold to make up for the days they were tortured to know they can't conceive. I'm not saying that having a child is more of a joy than not having a child, but to some people it is. How amazing that this mistake to one person is embraced as a blessing by the arms of someone else. People who are barren depend on mistakes.

Even more, though, there is a new hope for the baby. Baby's are, by definition, completely dependent on the help of more capable humans to survive. They're inherently helpless on their own. If I had a baby in 9 months and just left it, excuse my bluntness, it would die. The only way that fate could be reversed is if someone else took on the responsibility and decided to care for it as their own child.

When my mom found out she was pregnant with me, she cried.
They weren't tears of joy.
She called my dad, who responded with "Well Chaaalate (Boston accent), I guess I gotta marry ya do I?"
And the shotgun wedding took place in a nice little chapel only a few short days before I was born.

That's an awkward start to a life. My existence was, like so many other people, unplanned. But my mom and dad bit the bullet and changed their perspective.
So it goes without saying, there's that option too.

But there are some who just can't do it.
& I just love the way that dark situation is made light. It's not only restored to it's original state -- it's enhanced. It's made better.

1 comment:

  1. Ephesians 1:5 - even makes the idea of adoption MORE beautiful.