10/16/10

so THIS is what it feels like...

to be a Mom.

Yes, a Mom. I'm talking about towards my 21 year old boyfriend, Riley James Merrell. Okay I'm not talking about the napping, the poop, the boogers, and the teaching and guiding. Errr.... ehhhe... most of the time...

But for realz, what I'm talking about is this uncontrollable anxiety that moms get when their child goes away. You know how annoying it is when you go somewhere and you even though you know you're safe and everything is cool, your mom seems to think that everything is so dangerous and she gets nervous when you forget to call or something? It's like on the movie Step Mom when the little boy "gets lost" and when they finally find him they're like "Where were you? You had us so worried!" and he's like "I knew where I was the whole time!" haha I can just imagine my odd socks saying that as I'm furiously searching for them in great anger...

I just can't even stop myself from vividly imagining things that could possibly (but are very unlikely to) happen to Riley while he's in India on this missions trip.
Why can't I just trust God? "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5
My own understanding right now is getting the best of me and it's not very fun.

I just feel my motherly instincts kicking in and it's kind of amusing. I'm going to be a basket case when I actually have kids and they go off and be reckless... Oh motherhood...