quality time

i've discovered that i have a lot of time on my hands since i've gone off facebook & found many other great and useless things you can do other than go on facebook.

here is a list I've compiled entitled "Things You Can Do Other Than Facebook" (it turns out there are a whole buncha things but i narrowed it down to these favorites)

take naps & enjoy REM: you know that awkward moment when you go to take an awesome nap and find yourself still living vicariously through other people's facebook lives half an hour later...
get out there and... go shopping!: spending money takes your mind off of problems you may be facing such as lack of friends or... being poor, for example
skype your long distance friends and lovers: & discover that you actually have no idea what they've been up to (i.e., getting pregnant, getting jobs, winning the lottery, etc)
reconnect with your ex's: seriously. brilliant thinking. it's good for stimulating your intellect as well as your emotions.
think of and find even more amazing/hilarious things to tweet about:

get into shape: this isn't useless at all actually... if you actually do more than simply consider doing it
make guacamole (&other high-rated recipes you stumbleupon): & then eat it
stumble your life away: "just one more stumble... ohmyeyesareshutting[&yup,ijusthadadreamithink]... just ONE more stumble..."
look at pictures of bridal gowns & weddings: while listening to joshua radin and bright eyes. gross.
go out on coffee dates with friends & talk about life:
this tends to lead to caffeine overdoses so i would suggest opting for decafe
make lists: case in point.
text more: it's way more personal than posting on people's walls because it's just between you and that one person
paint a picture: it's a good way to express yourself. it's like therapy you can look at after.
look through flyers to find the discounts: this could also include groupon, socialshopper, or virtually anything you can look at things you don't need but think you should get because they are on sale
do homework: or not
post inspiring blogs: again, case in point...
get really into something and start a collection: this could be anything from teas, to corks, to thrifted framed pictures of dogs

so yeah. i've been doing so many great things since i deactivated my account a few days ago. lemme know if you have other great ideas.


the constant is change

i know i usually write more from my heart in my blog but i literally have nothing else to say. this song sums everything up perfectly.

Switchfoot - Restless

i am the sea on a moonless night,
calling, falling, slipping tides
i am the leaky, dripping pipes
the endless aching drops of light
i am the raindrop falling down,
always longing for the deeper ground

i am the broken, breaking seas
even my blood finds ways to bleed

even the rivers ways to run
even the rain to reach the sun
even my thirsty streams,
even in my dreams

i am restless, i am restless
i am restless, looking for you
i am restless, i run like the ocean to find your shore
i'm looking for you

i am the thorn stuck in your side
i am the one that you left behind,
i am the dried up doubting eyes
looking for the well that wont run dry

running hard for the other side
the world that i've always been denied
running hard for the infinite
with the tears of the saints and hypocrites

oh blood of black and white and gray
death and life and night and day
one by one by one
we let our rivers run

i am restless, i am restless
i am restless, i'm looking for you
i am restless, i run like the ocean to find your shore
i'm looking for you

yea, i can feel you breathing
i can feel you leaving
more then just a feeling, more then just a feeling
i can feel you reaching
pushing through the ceiling
until the final healing
i'm looking for you

until the sea of glass we meet
at last completed and complete
the tide of tear and pain subside
laughter drinks them dry

i'll be waiting
all that i aim for
what I was made for
with every heartbeat

all of my blood bleeds
running inside me
looking for you
looking for you

i am restless, i am restless
i am restless, looking for you
i am restless, i run like the ocean to find your shore
i'm looking for you


temper tantrum

It's kind of bizzare how often, when I'm dealing with a little bruise on my heart or anxiousness, I get bursts of insight from various places that I feel are speaking directly to me. Maybe it's just my mindset that I start to think everything is so relevant and meant just for me to hear, but more likely I'd say, God is using my surroundings to show me new things. Sometimes I'm more open to hearing from Him than other times; right now would probably be a good example of a time I'm just paying more attention. But I'm sure if I really stopped and quieted my busy mind more often, I would find myself hearing the still, small voice that just reaches out, loves, and more importantly, guides my thoughts and actions.
Yesterday, my devotional was about choosing peace as an answer to a situation where you may butt heads with someone in your life. Okay... accepted as true but... ehhh - not ready.
Then today, I read Courtney's blog (which I haven't really ever) & it was about letting go of hurt. & this picture was on it.
First of all, I love Lemony Snickets. Second, that is me right now. Thanks for that.

Right now the lesson I am learning is how to put down my pride, chose peace, & let go of anger & resentment. I'm not talking about one of those situations where someone has really, truly, intentionally wronged you but one where you just don't see eye-to-eye with someone or they have hurt you out of ignorance and now feel sorry for doing so.
Resentment is a nasty thing, and it can cause you to act completely out of character & say things that you don't deep-down believe or feel - they are just temporary feelings that erupt out of a reaction. I think it's important to get those temporary feelings out. But that is maybe better done on a piece of paper that you subsequently burn because it's really not meant for anyone to see - it's just meant to make sure it's not rotting away inside your heart. Resentment can be one of those things that we hold on to because it's either too painful for us to look at or it's too humbling for us to forgive. I am not a grudgeful person, but I do think that my approach to dealing with someone who I feel has wronged me is unhealthy. I kind of just throw a fit when my pride has been hurt. It actually looks shockingly similar to a child who throws a tantrum after he/she feels silly for doing something embarrassing or wrong. It's just sometimes easier to blame than to possibly think you may have some ownership.
Eventually, though, I need to repent of that tantrum & chose to be at peace with my world & the people in it. The truth is, these things usually aren't happening for some arbitrary reason. They are usually happening because we have some growing to do. So today, I chose to look at my circumstance not as some sort of cruel harrasment from the world, but as a chance to show love, peace, humility, & from it, grow.
I think the world really misleads us into thinking the answer is to look out for #1. I do think that it's important we guard our hearts against things that will hurt us, but when we guard our hearts just so we don't look bad, it leads to a lot of unproductivity. Instead of moving forward, it's like we are choosing to remain as a stubborn child. I must chose to love my neighbor as myself. I already knew this deep down, but that truth has been reinforced in many ways over the past few days & I accept its importance.