continue to linger in
the hope that once burned bright
is slowly growing dim
am i wrong?
do i belong?
should i listen to my hearts song?
it's playing in a minor key
now that things are wrong
but it wasn't long ago
it sounded like the angels' song
i come and then i go
in and out of phases
in and out of stages
of plays and and circus cages
one time to be loved
and sometimes just paraded
but no matter where i tend to stand
i continue to believe
i have purpose and He has planned
i'm where i'm suppose to be
i'm in a swarming vortex
a whirlwind of expectation
bars to be reached
standards, met
it's complete exasperation
it can bring me to my knees
where everything is healed
or i fall deeper into doubt
on the floor in fetal
i want my insides to explode
so that everybody feels
the heart and soul
i want them to hold
so they can know what's real
and i can stop pretending
and playing these roles
i can stop defending
the raw and real version of my soul
the one with holes
the one with sores
the one that has beauty
the one that wants more
i feel evaporated
what do i have to give?
who am i?
and what is this?
please just let me live.
let me be
and let me grow
let me see
and let me know
i feel i lose a piece of me
when acknowledgment is absent
i can't explore the inner being
and i end up feeling resentment
i try to change the shape i am
so i can fit into the hole that's been cut for me
but nothing about this hole
truly let's me see
the deeper version of me
begging to be free
begging to be seen
eye to eye
nose to nose
toe to toe
heart to heart
dying to be known
as the inner core of me
hoping to be shown
that's all i need to be
'cause at the end of the day
that's all that i can be
i hope that i'm okay
this girl, rena marie
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